Wedding Talk

I understood this article all too well. I’ve been there multiple times – after coming back from Australia, again after France and now, currently, as I figure out how to plan an out-of-province wedding. In some ways, I was probably lucky with Australia: a few weeks before our semester abroad was over, we had a meeting with an administrator from the exchange program to get our feedback on our experiences and to give us some tips on settling back into our lives . I still remember that she told us that people who weren’t here with us may not jump for joy about constantly hearing about our trip, (at least after the initial recap of how “wonderful” and “amazing” our five months away had been they would probably not enjoy how every other anecdote would begin with “This one time, in Australia…”) She suggested that instead we should remember to ask our friends and family what was new in their lives and to be sure to keep in touch with our friends abroad – they would be more than likely to enjoy hours of reminiscing about life in Australia.

So I’ve been warned. And I’ve been through it a few times. And I’m still working on it, especially around planning this wedding. Maybe I’ve seen one too many movies like “Bride Wars” or heard a few too many horror stories, where wedding planning takes over peoples lives – but that is not really the case here. Yet.

Maybe it’s that I’m planning an out of province wedding and I don’t know many other brides-to-be with whom I can share this planning stuff. And maybe it’s that I’m in the academic world where people seem to put off marriage until later in their careers, or just approach the whole process differently (common-law partners and quiet, private ceremonies being more the norm). It also doesn’t help that my MOH and second bridesmaid are in different cities, which precludes any chance of getting together to make plans. Mostly though, I think it’s that I’m reluctant to bring up the topic, for fear that I will end up boring people to death with a topic that is much more dramatic when viewed on TLC. And perhaps others feel the same way, not wanting to bring up references to things that might currently be causing me stress, like chair covers or processional marches that, in the end, are just small parts of a day that really is a celebration about the beginning of something much larger and more important than choosing appetizers.

However, with the ease of the internet, I am finding ways to share in the preparations. It’s probably easier to stick a link in an email for an opinion than print off and organize the paper for a coffee shop planning session. And I’m hoping that if my family (well, my brothers and father, at least) hasn’t been bombarded with constant talk, decisions and bridal magazines for fourteen months, they won’t be suffering from wedding burnout three weeks before the blessed event. I’ve had emails from aunts across Canada, saying how excited they are about the day and offering their virtual help in the meantime. I have my cousin sourcing decorations in Halifax (definite plus to an out of province wedding – so many more options for finding things!)

And honestly, I am having so much more fun than I thought I would planning this celebration, flipping through the magazines at the library and regularly scrolling through these websites and looking at great indie weddings. This whole wedding planning process, and the reactions (or lack of) to it, haven’t been quite what I imagined. But I’m sure when it’s all done and people ask me about it, I’ll be sure to say all the right words – and then ask them how things are going in their lives too.